Following on from the formation of the Scotland for Independence party, the rats in Nicola Sturgeon’s run-down Glasgow Southside constituency have decided to throw their weight behind the independence movement and form their own progressive pro-independence party called ‘Fur for a Left European Alba’, or F.L.E.A. for short.

F.L.E.A Spokerat, Stuart Templeton, said: ‘Well, the rotting garbage, old couches, spoiled food and grime of SNP run Glasgow Southside are a paradise for us and Scotland isn’t even independent yet. Imagine what we could do when we finally break free from the iron boot of Westminster that has held us back for so long. Just think about what we can achieve. We have a broad range of policies and will be campaigning on a policy of free, non-means-tested rotting food for all rats and a 50%+1 referendum on the removal of all cats from the local area’. 

‘For this reason, we wholeheartedly support the cause of Scottish independence and are hoping to pick up a few ‘list’ seats at the Holyrood election in 2021’.

[PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A WORK OF SATIRE AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF SCOTLAND MATTERS]

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