At a recent Scottish Government finance meeting, in an attempt to reduce the £15 billion deficit that Scotland would have as an independent nation, the SNP have struck upon a plan that can only be described as ‘groundbreaking’, paradigm-shifting’, ‘revolutionary’ and the very definition of ‘blue-sky’, ‘out of the box’ thinking.
Finance Minister Kate Forbes said, ‘After reading about that sheep that was sold for £350,000, I thought, that’s it!! What a moneymaker!! You can forget ever-decreasing oil revenue, bi-lateral trade with rUK and applying for EU membership’.
‘All Scotland needs to do to clear the deficit is to sell a couple of million of these sheep. I couldn’t work out the exact number, I’m not that great at mental arithmetic, but at £350,000 a pop, you can’t go wrong’.
‘I’ve been speaking with my SNP colleague, Minister for Rural Affairs and the Natural Environment, Mairi Gougeon about how to breed sheep. She’s as knowledgeable about animal husbandry as I’am about Finance. She said that sheep bud off each other like yeast cells. This will stick it to Westminster’.
‘Wail until Nicola hears about this idea’.
[PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A WORK OF SATIRE AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF SCOTLAND MATTERS]