Independent Scottish Navy To Consist Of An Angry Glaswegian In A Canoe

Kate Forbes To Start Selling Sheep To Reduce The Deficit


Nicola Sturgeon Denies Entire Existence of Alex Salmond


Rats in Nicola Sturgeon’s Constituency to Form Their Own Pro-indy Party


Disappointment Over Scottish Exam Results Preparing Teenagers For A Life Under The SNP


Aberdeen Being Punished For Having A Functioning Economy


The SNP To Start Selling Branded Coffins


Face Masks Now Mandatory At Sturgeon’s Press Conferences


Birthday Messages For Our Dear Leader

Greetings Scottish Citizens. As you know our Great Leader recently celebrated her 50th birthday with a clap from the grateful populace, a salute from the ‘Scottish Resistance’ and a socially distanced ‘sair elba’ tap from her predecessor. Click here to see the top 20 most joyous exaltations chosen by the official state newspaper, The National out of 800 beautifully crafted birthday wishes  Happy birthday ma’am!


The Scottish Resistance To Organise Hot Tub Sit-In Protest


New Scottish Border Patrol Force In Action At Gretna


‘Big Support’ For SNP In Irvine


Nationalist Angry At Cheese


New Nationalist TV Channel Launched


New Name For ‘No’ Voter Discovered By Scottish Separatist


Where’s Swinney?


Extreme Separatists Try New Tactic Of Being Aggressive And Blaming The English


Wee Ginger Dug In Another Startling Anti-tory, Pro-SNP, Anti-UK, Pro-oor Nicola, Anti-Union Article


Former First Minister Makes Dramatic Intervention in Cineworld Robert the Bruce No-show Scandal

Welcome to Scotland in 2019. A nation where our former First Minister now interferes in a ‘Twitterstorm’ over a film about Robert the Bruce that an independent cinema chain doesn’t wish to show at its cinemas that only has a 40% rating on Rotten Tomatoes because nationalism.

Alex Salmond urges Cineworld to ‘think again’ and screen Robert the Bruce epic in Scotland

Alex Salmond has urged Cineworld chiefs to reconsider their decision not show the new Robert the Bruce biopic in Scotland. The former First Minister joins a growing number of people venting their disappointment as it emerged that the cinema chain – the UK’s largest by number of venues – would not be screening the historical epic starring Angus Macfadyen in Scotland.

Yet Another Indy Crowdfunding Surprises Absolutely No One

A lone Scottish separatist has decided yet again to set up another Crowdfunding campaign to ‘draw in fence sitters and soft no voters’ for our 8th ‘ Rough Wooing’ since the end of September 2014. This time it’s different though! This time it’s to prevent Scotland from being ‘held prisoner by the British State’ in the event of a no-deal Brexit explains the text that has been copied and pasted from every other unsuccessful separatist crowdfunding campaign that has ever existed previously.

Robert the Bruce writes for The National

Here, actor Angus Macfadyen miraculously channels the wisdom of King Robert the Bruce from beyond the grave in an unmatched feat of clairvoyance that only the power of writing for The National could imbue him with.

Robert the Bruce: Familiar sound of Empire must be fiercely opposed

AHEAD of the release of his new film, Robert the Bruce (at cinemas nationwide from June 28), Angus Macfadyen imagines what the iconic Scottish leader would think if he woke up to today’s world of politics. MY heart bleeds. I woke up this morning in the future.

SNP Tour from the SSE Hydro in 2014

Below, you will find a video of an SNP conference/event hybrid from 2014 that would have been utterly alien to Scotland before 2007. Guest appearances include such musical luminaries as Blank Canvas and a rapper called Stanley Odd. Nicola Sturgeon and Alex Salmond have walk on parts.

So you don’t have to watch the entire spectacle, go to 2:03:00 to see a man waxing lyrical about “I don’t know, but I didn’t vote No!”, “When I say bed tax, you say nae chance!” and that “British values need a respirator!”. How often can you say that you witnessed the exact moment your nation lost its sense of perspective?