During a Holyrood debate on the Gaelic and Scots languages this week, the SNP’s Emma Harper stuttered a scripted contribution in `Scots’, including the bewildering sentence: ‘The Scots leid is a michtie important pairt o Scotland’s cultural heirship, kythin in sang, poems and leeterature, and in ilkaday yaise in wir communities forby’ — which turned the farcical into the unintelligible. A verbal mangling that would have made Officer Crabtree of Allo Allo’s `grittest hoots’ album. Not one single participant in the debate highlighted her inability to speak the language. Neither I or anyone I know have ever heard a normal Scot talk like this. Surely in these days of inclusion and desire for more immigration and social mobility, this weird, middle-class amalgam of regional accents and dialects puts barriers in front of them. As Goad is ma wutniss, ah’m fair scunnert! Allan Sutherland, Stonehaven, Kincardineshire.